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Moving the primal conversation from the kitchen...into the cave.
9/24

primal-libertarian-deactivated2 asked: The Assman license plate is the one that the DMV gave to Kramer on Seinfeld by mistake

Very good. I miss Seinfeld and smart shows like it. -PP

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Alright Tumblrs & Tweeters.  I know it’s been a while since I updated this blog.  I’ve missed it and you all.  I really don’t know how people can balance a full-time job with regular blog posts, but I salute those of you who do.  Hate to admit it, but the job that pays me has been keeping me pretty damn busy.  During mental breaks throughout the numerous hours at my desk or on the road, I would often think about this blog and the things I want to share with you.  At night or on the plane I’ve been doing some extra reading (or, rather, listened to audiobooks on my Kindle) to give me a good stash of post ideas.  In the meantime, my absence from the things and people I love caused me to have an additional troubling thought:  how the hell am I supposed to find a man when my career keeps me so socially isolated?

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Image from cafepress.com

I’m just going to come out and tell you that I have a big ass.  I can even tell you the exact moment in my life when I received it:  track season in 7th grade.  I have photographic evidence of me going from skinny-no-hips to baby-got-back within a two-month period.  Don’t worry, I got my boobs at the same time so I’m not really complaining.  There are certain things that piss me off about being a “big bootie ho,” like skinny jeans.  Someday I’m going to find the bitch who invented those things and punch her in the face.  And then I’m going to sock the marketing whiz who named them.  But aside from the occasional clothing issues, I’ve grown to accept love my curves as I’ve gotten older.  Today I really do count them as blessings.

One afternoon I was chatting with a gorgeously fit, tall friend of mine who also finds herself well-endowed with her derrière.  I was complaining about Lululemon shorts riding up too high.  No, I wasn’t.  Actually, I was telling her how much I love her butt (especially in Lululemon shorts).  She told me that of all the compliments she receives from men, her ass is, by far, #1.  This got me to thinking…

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If you follow me on twitter, you’ll quickly realize how much I love hashtagging.  Hashtagging for me is taking the thought I mutter under my breath, removing the spaces, and adding a # in front of it.  Charlie Sheen provided us with some great ones, particularly #winning and #duh.  #Duh should be reserved for those truly obvious moments in life, and one of those moments is when a man tells me that he loves my long hair.

You can search all you want, but you won’t find a picture of me on this site.  Why not?  Because Raquel Welch is pretty damn hot, and she’s got the cavewoman thing down much better than I do.  But I will tell you this:  I have long, brown hair.  It’s not freakishly long, but it’s past my bra line.  If I put my head back, my ends graze my ass.  More on that in a later blog.

Long locks.

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I am a Primal Playmate, meaning I’m single and living the Paleolithic dream.  I have access to and can afford great food, great gyms, and sauerkraut.  The main differences between me and early woman are modern technology and that I should have had a dozen babies by this point in life.  Do I want to have kids someday?  You know it—it’s in my DNA to reproduce.  It really just comes down to finding someone I trust enough to let father my, er, our children.

But in the meantime, there are some observations I can’t help but make, and I’m going to use this blog as a sounding board for them.  Everything on this forum is fair game:  sex, relationships, careers, health, etc.  I’m going to be honest, open, and say the things that you may have been thinking or feeling but didn’t have the nerve to say aloud. 

Like my observation that so many women insist on eating like a cavewoman but forget to act like one.

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